WFF News Update: New Years edition

None of these messages could be plagerized from the Onion(c)
The Nord Belkan Repulic is #1 in Transparency


The Grey Men decided long ago that your phone calls were boring, but do they still listen?

Dinsmark—Warning that it would be reckless to release the full findings to the general public, critics in Dinsmark condemned the Senate’s 480-page report detailing the Razgriz Academy interrogation tactics Tuesday, saying it puts the country at considerable risk of transparency. “Publishing the results of this five-year investigation is an extremely hazardous move, as it gravely jeopardizes our country’s ability to obscure and cover up human rights abuses that may or may not have occurred following the fall of the DLP,” said Sen. Oswald Boelcke (Libertarian-S.Belka), adding that the report’s graphic details about the alleged use of torture on suspected Osean detainees would embolden the government’s opponents and could likely lead to widespread clarity and accountability. “It is a risky proposition by the members of the Senate to make this information available, one which could potentially incite openness and communication about the Razgriz Academies' use of waterboarding and other so-called enhanced interrogation techniques on illegally detained prisoners during the War on Osea.” Critics claimed the report also puts many Belkan political lives at risk by acknowledging specific government figures’ failure to secure any worthwhile, actionable intelligence information from such techniques.


The March to "Doom"


"War is the continuation of politics by other means"

Grunder Intl. Press— An immense international conflict has been raging since early November. Apparently Doom Squad conspired to start a global war by attacking Invicta. Whether this is conspiracy fact or fiction, the results was in fact a global war and two factions emerged: Lulzist Coalition and SuperCereal Coalition. On November 14th Veracity of drunkenville from The Sandstorm Confederacy attacked Hakora Kiyanto from NPO. Umbrella and Sengoku reacted swiftly to counter this attack on their ally, and both launched multiple counters against TSC. Currently, our allies Sengoku and Reavers are fighting the good fight against the New Polar Order and this is all while attaining white peace with The Sandstorm Confederacy and coming closer to total victory.

Want to know more?

Doom War Timeline:

Medical Minute


The World Freedom Federation is proud to host the elite of the medical world

Aringar—A new study released in the Shanoa Journal Of Medacine STOP Un-Medacine Medicine Medicine GO revealed that Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders, once thought to stem from neurochemicl STOP Un-neurochemicl neurochemical neurochemical GO deficiencies, may actually occur from a genetic predisposition STOP Un-occur from a genetic predisposition occur due to a genetic predisposition occur due to a genetic predisposition GO. "We have meticulously researched and organized volumes of material confirming this new theory," said team head Dr. Joseph Bryant of Aringar University, addressing reporters from a perfectly symmetrical podium/ STOP. Un-/ ... END


More Antics From Ice Antarctica


The generous leader has indeed given all participants a pair of merino wool socks

Penguin City—In an effort to relieve his boredom and fill an otherwise uneventful afternoon, Ice Antarctica leader A Floppy Penguin stacked all 24 million of his country’s inhabitants into a human pyramid Friday to help him pass the time. “Do the pyramid faster and taller,” the Ice Antarctica dictator ordered from a balcony overlooking Tonder Square, as 800,000 of his citizens clambered to reach the 47th tier of the massive gymnastic formation and steady themselves on the trembling backs of millions more of their countrymen. “I want it taller than that. Have the labor camps been emptied? We can add prisoners from the labor camps. Move faster! Ugh, this human pyramid is more dull than no human pyramid at all.” At press time, the Penguin had left to take a nap, but ordered the pyramid to remain indefinitely in case he got bored again and wanted to play around with it some other time. He then went in to his man-cave and read about the whole SONY fiasco and went to sleep with a big smile on his face knowing that it was Ender all along.

Now with color photos!