=World Freedom Federation News Bureau= 'AAAAAND IN THE BLUE CORNER....'(F/4|3)

A SPECIAL EDITION OF THE BUREAU'S NEWS, WE HAVE A FANTASTIC ANNOUNCEMENT!

^^^^^^^^^ Watch this before scrolling down, Citizens! ^^^^^^^^^

The World Freedom Federation Shifts into War Mode; The New Wartime Flag Gets A Workout, And Our Brave Men Move To The Athenian Front!

Yesterday, Skymarshal Nord Belka issued a Declaration of War on Athens in retalliation for their DOW on our friends in NEW. Last night, a short blitz was carried out with great success, with most of the target nations falling into anarchy within the first few attacks.

All Citizens are required to do their part, and should check into their squadrons in the appropriate thread, get on IRC, and co-ordinate with their squadron leaders. A concerted Athenian counter-attack is expected over today and tomorrow at Server Update, so all Citizens are strongly advised to keep active and have the 'buy soldiers' screen open with their finger over the F5 button at these times.

Remember, we are all Soldiers here. We have the power to kick some serious ass, and so far we have been.

Following is a feature article on how the Athenian military works, as well as some useful tips that will be necessary for you to survive the arduous battles we have ahead of us:


This is a detailed model of the standard (and only type of) Athenian Infantryman, the Hoplite. They are usually deployed in great lines or clusters in a Phalanx formation (See next). Basic armament includes a shield, a spear normally between 2 and 4 meters long (the shorter spears can be thrown in a pinch) and most are equipped with a short stabbing sword as well, in case the Phalanx is broken, and they still need to spill people's bowels.

The only armor they generally wear is a helmet, to stop people from giving them a shave (it is an Athenian custom to grow seedy pedo beards) and a cape, to protect them from being called straight. The Athenians rarely wear a breastplate, because the average solder trains specifically to make his stomach muscles able to deflect most blows, and if a bullet was to penetrate the steel-like abs of an Athenian, he'd most likely be able to digest the lead in his epic stomach (a nation-wide effect of women being unable to cook properly)

The Athenian Tactics:

Enter the Phalanx. The standard (and once again, only) Athenian infantry formation, the Phalanx formation is powerful if utilised correctly, and useless if not. Essentially, all men join rank with their spears poking out the front, and their novelty oversized shields are large enough to cover half of themselves, and half of the man on his left. Which means that lefthanders fuck this formation up severely. This goes back rank after rank.

Anyhoo. at the crux of the tactical thinking of this formation is the fact that anything stupid enough to attack from the front gets impaled by the poles of hundreds of sweaty, hairy men. However, on the flanks, the formation is week, as all the boys have their spears flopped out the front, and as an entire block, the formation has to change direction in order to defend itself, during which, lots of eyes could be accidentally poked out.

From behind, a Phalanx is useless. From above, the Phalanx is even worse in defense. Therefore, Citizens, our stratagem shall be to bomb these large, <insert gay innuendo> columns of men from the comfort of our not-phallic-at-all aeroplanes.


Best of luck, Gentlemen. Take some Scalps! ! !

-Poliz

o/

o/

o/

o/

o/

\o

\o/
Touchdown!

>^.^<

o/ WFF
o/ >^.^<

o/ WFF

Nada's Seal of Approval:

Tonders seal of Approval:
cuz you couldnt see the afro